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Shrek vs. The Grinch
Shrek vs. The Grinch is a What-If Death Battle created by Venage237. This fan made Death Battle features Shrek from the DreamWorks series; of the same name, and The Grinch from Dr. Seuss's, '' How the Grinch Stole Christmas''. Description Today, two outcast from society are going to battle each other to who is the superior heroic outcast. They are big, green, as well as stinky. One is an ogre, the other is..... a Grinch. Interlude Boomstick: Phew! What the hell is that smell Wiz!? Was that you? Please tell me you didn't eat that triple decker bean burrito burger, with garlic cloves on the side. Wiz: That wasn't me Boomstick! Trust me, if it was me, you'd be comatose for a year or two. What you're actually smelling are the next two combatants. Big, Green creatures, who are also outcasts, not to mention incredibly smelly. Boomstick: Oh you mean Shrek, the Ogre Prince of Far Far Away? Wiz: That right, and The Grinch, that stole Christmas. Boomstick: He's Wiz, and I'm Boomstick. Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who will win a Death Battle. Shrek Wiz: Fairytales stories are known to have predictable outcome. The handsome Prince charming sets off on a journey to rescue a beautiful maiden. Confront a dragon, slay monsters, break curses, possess a beautiful horse as a noble steed by their side, and marries the maiden. Boomstick: But what happens if that story was reversed? The prince being the villain, your noble steed was reduced to a jackass, and the one who rescues, and eventually married, the princess, confronted the dragon, and broke the curse... was a big, green, and odorous monster? Wiz: And this is where Shrek comes in. Boomstick: Standing in at least eight feet tall, weighing in at about 450lbs, Shrek is one big ass monster. Wiz: Shrek is a mythological creature known as an ogre. When he started out, the townsfolk were terrified of him, to the point where they placed a bounty for anyone you captures him, dead or alive, and would go to his house with torches and pitchforks. Boomstick: But Shrek always outsmarts them and scares them away with a yellow trail following closely behind them, and fresh chocolate in between their legs. Though sadly, he never kills and them, despite the fact that apparently ogres make suits from a human's freshly pale skin, shave people's livers, and squeeze the jelly from their eyes. Shrek: Actually it quite good on toast. Wiz: Shrek as been doing this for some time, until he came across someone who would change his life.... Boomstick: Eddie Murphy, as a jackass. Donkey: OH this going be fun! We can stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning... I'm making waffles! Wiz: And when all kinds of fairytale creatures began to move into his swamp by the orders of Lord Farquaad, both he and Donkey went on a journey to reclaim his swamp. Boomstick: But before he could get his swamp back, Lord Farquaad made a deal with Shrek that if he rescued a princess that was guarded by a fire-breathing Dragon, and bring her back to Duloc, Farquaad would give Shrek his swamp back. Wiz: And he did eventually managed to rescue the princess, named Fiona, from the Dragon. However, as the two were journeying back to Duloc, Shrek began to develop feelings for Fiona, and she also developed feeling for him as well. Boomstick: AND after learning that Fiona's secret, that she was cursed to turn into an ogre every night, Shrek admitted his feeling for her, broke the curse, and married a princess. Though Fiona is now 24/7 an ogre. Wiz: Though she doesn't seem to mind, as she married the man, or rather, monster she loves. Boomstick: Eh.... to be fair, I've seen weirder relationship; like a donkey getting it on with a dragon. I don't even want to know how that works. Wiz: Being an Ogre, Shrek possesses superhuman strength, and endurance. He can also emit loud roars that easily terrify people when they don't expect it. His roars are so powerful that he can generate a sound wave. Boomstick: But there's something that's stronger then his strength and his loud roar; and that's his odor. HE FUCKING STINKS! Wiz: It's true. According to Shrek, his farts are strong enough to either daze anyone, or even kill anyone near him, though ogres, and presumably anyone who's uses to his odor are immune to his farts. Boomstick: Shrek also tries to improve his odor by bathing in mud and swampy waters, eating disgusting and horribly smelling food, and other disgusting habits. Not to mention Shrek's farts and belches can prove to be useful too; if he has a torch, or any item with a flame, he can become a living flamethrower. Wiz: Shrek is a strong Ogre. He fought, and beat a large number of Farquaad's knights in a wrestling ring. Managed to escape the dragon's keep, while rescuing Princess Fiona and Donkey, unscathed, escaped Fairy Godmother's potions factory. Boomstick: And he even tolerated Arthur *bleep-ing Pendragon! Wiz: He also managed to beat Prince Charming, though to be fair Prince Charming was a bit of a wimp. Became a hero, as well as beloved through the eyes of the people, and when he accidently created an alternate world where he was never born, helped the ogre rebels defeat and captured the tyrant Rumpelstiltskin. Boomstick: Wait, isn't that the same guy who spins straw into gold for a fee? Wiz: Yep, it's the same guy, except, everyone knows his name. Know let's get back to Shrek. Boomstick: Okay, but despite Shrek having impressive feats, he also has some flaws. For one Shrek has a bot of a temper, and is kinda stubborn. As such, he mostly likes to keep to himself. That is until he married Fiona, and temporarily became king of Far Far Away. Wiz: He also does seems to have an on & off fear towards large crowds with torches and pitchforks, as proof when he felt uncomfortable walk towards the in-laws, WHILE some of the people had pitchforks in their possessions. Shrek is also prone to getting captured at least once per movie. And while he is great a dealing with a crowd of knights, he can he overwhelmed to the point where hundreds have piled on top of him. Boomstick: But regardless of these flaw, Shrek remains as one of DreamWorks most popular characters. And as that saying that we found on the internet goes;.... Wiz and Boomstick in unison: Shrek is love, Shrek is life. Fiona: What kinda of knight are you?! Shrek: One of a kind. The Grinch Wiz: Every Who down in Whoville liked Christmas a lot... Boomstick: Wiz, don't you dare rhyme. We don't have to the time. Wiz: Uh.... Boomsti... Boomstick: Yeah, Yeah, I realized what I did, shut up! Wiz: Alright, I won't rhyme... intentionally. Boomstick: You better not, otherwise I'll turn you into a puddle of snot! Wiz: You did it again... Boomstick: God Dammit! Wiz: Anyway, AS we've mention every Who that lives in Whoville loves Christmas a lot, but there is a creature who lives just north of Whoville who despises Christmas.... Boomstick: It's the Grinch, ya bitch. Wiz: Uh..... mmm.... I'm not even going to bother. Boomstick: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME!? Wiz: Okay, let's continue. Now depending on the continuity, The Grinch's origins varies. In the book as well as the animated shorts, the Grinch's past remains a mystery. But the only thing that's known is that he's just a creature who lives in a cave on top of Mt. Crumpet who hates Christmas. While in the live action version with Jim Carrey, they reveal his back story's history. Boomstick: Hey, wait a minute! Mystery, History? I thought we agreed that you wouldn't rhyme intentionally! Wiz: Sorry, it slipped. Boomstick: Yeah right! Wiz: Anyway, when the Grinch was born, which by the way, Whos aren't born the same way we're born. Boomstick: How are they born Wiz? Wiz: They apparently float down from the sky in a basket via a pumbercellas. Boomstick: Wiz, what the hell is a pumbercella? Wiz: It's most likely their version of an umbrella. Boomstick: Oh Okay! So what happened to the Grinch? Wiz: Well, when the Grinch "born", he was taking in by two elderly women. Boomstick: Were the old bags roommates or lesbians? Wiz: I don't think that was ever explained, and I highly doubt that they will ever explain it. Boomstick: But even as a child, the Grinch has disregard towards Christmas, but his parents thought it was just harmless child fun, so they let it slide. Wiz: And while he was attending school, he fell in love with a schoolgirl name Martha May Whovier, who also developed feeling for him as well. Unfortunately, at that time, Martha May was the girlfriend of Augustus Maywho, who would later grow up to be the mayor of Whoville. Boomstick: Who, Who, Who, there are too many Whos in Whoville! What's with all these names that have Who IN THEM!? Uh... My Apologies, so what happened next? Wiz: Uh... well, Augustus began to bully the Grinch because he had a beard despite being eight years old. Wanting to impress Martha May, The Grinch created a gift for her. He then decided to shave his beard but his face got cut up in the process. The next day, he presented his present to Martha May, but the students eventually saw the Grinch's cut up face and laughed in front of him, including his own teacher. Boomstick: What the teacher is laugh at one of her students? What a bitch! Wiz: Humiliated, the Grinch went on a rampage throughout the school, declaring that he hates Christmas. After which, the Grinch ran away, climbed up Mt. Crumpet and has been living there ever since. Boomstick: Now that's a sad, sad story........ But who cares! Let's talk out the Grinch's abilities. Wiz: Is you say so Boomstick. Being a Grinch, the Grinch possesses superhuman strength. Hell, even as a kid, the Grinch was pretty strong, as he could lift and toss an entire Christmas Tree without much effort. He's also a master of disguise as he can fool the Whos without much effort, and well as being a master prankster and a bit of an anarchist. Boomstick: And much like Shrek, The Grinch fucking reeks. Wiz: This is most likely because he live in Mt. Crumpet, as apparently Mt. Crumpet serves as Whoville's junkyard. He's also apparently immune to radioactive waste as he can grab bags full of that material, and not be affective. Boomstick: He even uses that crap to power up his entire home. Well that's one way to get rid of all that junk. Maybe the Grinch was onto something. *gasp... Maybe HE was the one you made Mr. Fusion from Back to the Future. Wiz: Doubt it. But it's not just the fact he lives near a junkyard, the Grinch is also known to eat rotten food, eat beer bottles, with apparently no injuries or blood coming from his insides, and even uses raw onions as body deodorant. And even stranger than that is that he can tolerate pain without much effort, such as when he had his head bashed in by a pair of giant cymbals and not be effected by it. He also apparently has razor sharp claws hidden underneath those long furry fingers of his. Boomstick: Oh, and we also forgot his dog! Some while he was living on his own, the Grinch got a pet dog named Max. But despite those down living with each other, The Grinch does have a tendency to be a bit abusive towards Max. Man somebody call PETA! Wiz: The Grinch is an interesting character in the Dr. Seuss lore. He managed to sneak all throughout Whoville and steal everything Christmas related from every house with only one person catching him in the act; Little Cindy Lou Who. Boomstick: He's also a great liar as he easily fooled Cindy, though to be fair, she was two years old in the book. And even his thieving skills are impressive as he can even steal a person's dreams without them noticing that something's was wrong with their dreams. Tell me another character who's capable of stealing items in a person's dreams! Wiz: But easily his most impressive accomplishment is after he realized the true meaning of Christmas, he successfully lifted his sled, carrying an entire bag filled with everything he stole above his head. Boomstick: But much like Shrek, The Grinch is prone with some flaws. For one he's.... Uh.... Actually I don't think he has any real flaws. The only thing I can think of is that he's shorter than Shrek. Can you come up with anything Wiz? Wiz: I don't really know Boomstick. But if I had to stretch a bit to find at least one flaw, I guess he could be declared legally insane, as he has a tendency to talk to himself, almost as if he's making a conversation with someone else. After all, this works with humans as well. Humans are very sociable creatures, and if they don't communicate with anyone within a few days, they can go crazy, resulting in them talking to themselves. And the Grinch here, is the prime example of that. Boomstick: So that's all you can find? Wiz: Yeah, unfortunately. But you can't deny that the Grinch is one of Dr. Seuss' greatest characters. Boomstick: That I can't deny Wiz...... But I still prefer Shrek over Grinch. Grinch: I... HATE YYYOOOOUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!! Death Battle (The scene starts on top of Mt. Crumpet. The Grinch looks towards the horizon, as the sun begins to rise. He realized the meaning of Christmas.) Grinch: Maybe Christmas doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas means a little bit more. As the Grinch's heart grew three time bigger, a big green monster appears behind him. ???: Stop right there! The Grinch turns as sees the big green monster. Grinch: Who are you? Shrek: The name's Shrek. And I'm hear to bring back everything you've stole from those Whos. Grinch: Now, now.... Let's talk about this.. Shrek: You're DEAD for trying to ruin Christmas!!!! Fight KO Conclusion The Winner is ? Next Time Two clones, created from first Death Battle champion, are about to battle each other to see who is the superior clone of Samus Aran. Who will be rooting for? Shrek The Grinch Who do you want to win? Shrek The Grinch Who's your favorite Big, Green, and Stinky Outcasts? Shrek The Grinch Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:Venage237